Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
