biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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