You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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