Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think I sprained my soul last night
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
