He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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