Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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