Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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