You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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