Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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