Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
