I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
