I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
