Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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