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HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
