Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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