I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
