i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
