She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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