if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
