I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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