You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
