I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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