I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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