Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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