I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".