The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
