so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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