I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
