In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize