did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize