My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
