yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
