You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
