I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
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It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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