Dual....:-)
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
