I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
