Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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