at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize