I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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