We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
