If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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