You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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