I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i will never coherently bang her
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
