in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
