Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
