i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
