Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
