I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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