i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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