Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
