from now on my penis is your penis
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
