Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
