peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
