hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
