Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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