but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
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My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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